Friday, March 16, 2012

Do Bend Over, Citizen, Thank You--US Government

"Don't you DARE buy Iran's oil! Just don't! And while you are at it, don't drink raw milk, don't buy food from farmer's markets. Don't drive without a bluetooth ear piece.

Always fasten your seat belts. Rotate your tires. You will buy insurance! Don't use tungsten light bulbs. Don't exhale carbon dioxide. Passwords are no longer allowed on your laptop. Please strip, and bend over so we can make sure you are not a terrorist.

You aren't taking too many vitamins, are you? Please fill out this survey for us or go to prison. Thank you for your cooperation. If you are not cooperating, I'll have a drone bomb your children's school!"

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