Co-pilot: I found it! I found what's screwing up the flight director!
Pilot: Well cut the fucking wire!
Pilot: All right, we are back in control. Tower, we have regained control of our aircraft and need a vector to the nearest place we can set down. This plane needs a good inspection and I want to know who added this unauthorized system to my plane! I want reporters in the field when we land. I am gonna burn someone's ass for this crazy stunt!
Tower: Roger that. Ummmm... Do you see an F-16 off your starboard?
Co-pilot: I got him.
Pilot: That's affirmative tower, what does he want?
Tower: Nothing. Nothing at all. He's just there to ... ummm. escort you. Yeah that's it, escort you. That's all. So don't do any sudden moves for another oh, say ten seconds or so, okay?